Fic: Catzilla
Monday, 17 February 2014 13:28![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lemonclementineTitle: Catzilla
Fandom: The LEGO Movie (2014)
Rating: G
Pairings: None
Warnings: Some spoilers
Summary: Written for CottonCandy Bingo, prompt: Apology/Forgiveness. Lord Business wants to make amends for what he'd done, but the people of Bricksburg aren't quite as forgiving as he'd like. But when a monstrous fluffy feline threatens the city once again, Lord Business might be the only one who can save them.
Sheesh, try to destroy the world once and suddenly everyone hated your nonexistent, plastic guts. Not that Lord Business could really blame the Lego people, really- he had, after all, tried to forcibly freeze them in place using the arcane power of the Kragle. But it hurt, to see the way people regarded him with disgust and suspicion, spitting at his feet when he passed. Really, all he'd wanted was perfect order. What was so wrong with that? Honestly, they'd all been so happy when they were following the instructions. Everything in its place, perfectly. But all that had fallen apart when the Special had arisen.
Emmet Brickowski. How an entirely unremarkable construction worker managed to overthrow him and become a master Builder to boot, was a source of puzzlement for the deposed plastic dictator. But that same unremarkable, regular guy, who had every right to hate him, somehow didn't. In fact, it had been Emmet's idea to let him help with the rebuilding of Bricksburg, as a way for Lord Business to repent for all the trouble he had caused. Now if only everyone else would be as accepting and understanding as the Special and actually let him do anything.
“Do you need any-” he began, asking Eunice the Cat Lady if she needed any help fixing the steps up to her apartment. But she just glared at him, interrupting before he had a chance to finish his sentence.
“No! I don't need your help! Go away!”
Sadly, Lord Business continued on his way, trying not to feel bad about it. After all, he had tried to destroy the world, he reminded himself- but it was hard, especially when he saw the same woman accept help from someone else to rebuild her steps.
So he walked on. He managed to fit a few bricks into the wall of one of those overpriced coffee shops before the barista recognized him and chased him away, waving a hot pot of coffee around like a weapon of some kind.
Eventually, Lord Business found a damaged section of street that nobody else seemed to be working on. Repairing it took longer than he'd expected, and by the time he was finished, everyone else had already gone back to their various homes. Emmet had been nice enough to allow him to stay in his apartment. Unfortunately, the homeless Master Builders were also bunking with Emmet until they had time to build their own places. And since the city took priority, they were still in there. Emmet was always upbeat and positive, and more than willing to help him with anything he needed, but the others... weren't. At all. Lord Business didn't think he could bear to face the accusatory stares of Batman, Unikitty, and Wyldstyle. He'd go back and check in tomorrow- maybe if he had a more productive day where someone actually let him help them rebuild, he wouldn't feel so bad about facing them.
So, he resigned himself to spending the night out here. He wasn't a Master Builder by any means, but he knew enough to be able to make a shelter of sorts out of discarded bricks. Finding a pile of rubble that he strongly suspected was the remains of one of those overpriced coffee shops, Lord Business quickly built a makeshift shanty and crawled inside, drifting off into an uneasy sleep.
That uneasy sleep was shattered several hours later when Lord Business was awoken by screams and a strange shaking feeling? An earthquake? No, that was impossible, earthquakes didn't happen here. There wasn't any earth to quake.
MROWR!
That was new. Lord Business scrambled out of his shelter only to find himself in the middle of a panicked mob. The ground shook again, and he asked idly, “what's going on here?”
“IT'S CATZILLA!” a frantic woman screamed. “My grandmother always said that this day would come, that it would return from the abyss to end us all!”
“IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!” someone else shouted.
“President Business must have summoned it to finish the job! He didn't kill us all on Taco Tuesday, so he summoned one of his unholy minions to do what he couldn't!” a man screamed, completely missing the fact that he was standing right next to the man he'd just accused of trying to kill everyone.
“I most certainly did not!” Lord Business exclaimed, affronted. However, he was drowned out by another deafening roar and the ground shaking again.
And then he saw it. Looming over the skyline came the creature. Possibly a thousand times larger than anyone in Bricksburg, it looked like a horrific parody of Unikitty. Gigantic, fluffy, and gray, the thing gave another yowl and put its enormous paw down, crushing a building. People jumped from the windows seconds before the building collapsed in on them, hitting the ground and scrambling to their feet and scampering away as fast as they could. But where could they go? The creature was large enough that it could step on them without moving its massive body before they had enough time to get out of the way. The monster meowed again, this time even louder and angrier than before. Wicked-looking, sharp claws extended from the thing's paws, and it took a vicious swipe at the fleeing people. At least one person was hit, his cry of pain reverberating over the din of the panicking crowd.
“We're all gonna die!” a man moaned.
It was then that Lord Business remembered something. Back in his Relic Room, there had been an absolutely enormous sphere called the Ball of Cattoi. It had taken a team of eight robots to carry it up and it gave off a strange scent, one that gave him a headache if he was around it too much. Unlike most of his relics, he'd never been able to figure out the purpose of the Ball of Cattoi, except for possibly using it to squish one's enemies. And even then, it was really too big to be worth much. There were more efficient ways to squish enemies than hauling out that gigantic thing. But maybe... it was about the right size to be of use to Catzilla. Maybe the reason Catzilla was attacking was because it was looking for the Ball of Cattoi. But it was all the way across the city, if the tower even still stood, and the monster was in the way. There was no way he would be able to make it all the way there and back with the ball in time. At least, not on his own. He was going to need a vehicle of some kind, but he wasn't a Master Builder. He barely managed to make a hut to sleep in. If he could get some help he might be able to save the city, but would anyone be willing to help him?
The ground shook again as Catzilla moved, knocking down more buildings. It meowed angrily again, clawing at more people as they attempted to flee. That made up his mind. There had already been enough destruction recently, most of it at his hands, and Lord Business knew a way to stop Catzilla. At least, he thought he did. He hoped he did. He would just have to take the risk. Better to try and fail than to give up right out the gate and watch a calamity befall an already beleaguered city.
Jumping up on a pile of discarded bricks, Lord Business yelled, “Everyone! I know how to stop Catzilla, but I can’t do it myself! I’ll need your help. You all need to help me build a vehicle, get to my tower, and retrieve the Ball of Cattoi! If we throw it off the side of the city, the monster will follow it and leave us alone!”
“And why should we believe you?” a woman shouted bitterly. “For all we know, you were the one who summoned Catzilla in the first place!”
“Yeah!” a man added, yelling to be heard over the din of the crowd. “Maybe this is all part of your plan to get revenge on the Special for stopping your plan to destroy us all!”
Lord Business resisted the urge to bang his head against a wall. Honestly, how stupid were these people? Even if he had planned to take his revenge on the Special and the city of Bricksburg by summoning a giant monster cat, did they really think he would be idiotic enough to do it while he was still in the city himself? “Really?” he asked sarcastically. “Really? I don’t want to die any more than you do, and if I was going to attempt to destroy the universe as we know it again, I wouldn’t use something I had no way of controlling. Do you really think I can control Catzilla? Until a few minutes ago I thought it was just a story used to scare badly-behaved children! ‘Eat your broccoli or Catzilla will come and get you!’ OF COURSE I didn’t summon it.”
“He does have a point…” someone said.
“But how does he know how to stop it?” a woman asked. “I’m suspicious. No one can stop the monster, if they did they’d be the one who brought it here in the first place!”
“Since I was a boy I’ve collected relics from the outside,” Lord Business explained, trying to stay patient. “They all have different properties and uses. I admit, in the past, I used them to control people and cement my power. But the Ball of Cattoi- I never did find a use for it. It was too big and heavy. But it is the perfect size for Catzilla to play with. If we can distract it with the ball, we can save the city!”
The people all looked skeptically at each other for a bit. Could they trust the former dictator? The whole thing sounded like a trap. What if he was trying to lure them to his tower so he could feed them to the monster?
But the ground shook again, Catzilla let out another terrifying roar, then with a swoosh of its mighty tail, knocked down three buildings at once. The gathered crowd screamed and ran amok in panic, paying no more mind to Lord Business. Seconds later, the area was empty with the exception of Lord Business and two other people- a garbage-man, and a mailman.
“If we don’t do anything we’re just going to end up sitting here, waiting to be attacked,” the garbage-man said. “You might be planning a trap, but whatever it is can’t be worse than being eaten by a giant cat monster. I’ll help you, but you’d better not try anything funny!”
“I agree- better to die trying to save our homes than to die running away scared,” the mailman said.
It wasn’t the most ringing endorsement, but it was better than nothing. Two people willing to help was better than no one. “Are either of you Master Builders?” Lord Business asked. The two men shook their heads. “Typical. Okay, do either of you have anything we might be able to turn into a vehicle of some sort?”
“Uh… my truck is parked a block away,” the mailman said. Lord Business looked at the skyline, checking the opposition. Catzilla was still several blocks away, chewing on a school bus.
“Okay. We’ll go. We get in the mail truck, and then you drive as fast as you can towards the tower. Once inside we’ll go up to the Relic Room, if it’s still intact, and then I’ll need help to lift the Cattoi. We’ll get it to the top of the tower and then we’ll throw it off the side of the city. With any luck, Catzilla will chase after it. Any questions?”
“Yeah,” the garbage-man said. “What do we do if Catzilla doesn’t chase the Cattoi?” Lord Business grimaced.
“Then we’ll just have to hope it does.” Truthfully, this was the only way he could think of to stop the rampage. If this didn’t work, Catzilla would be free to stomp around the city, destroying everything it came across. Sure, the people would rebuild, but it might break their spirit, coming so soon after the Kragle incident. Life in Bricksburg had already been irrevocably changed, bowing to the whims of a destructive feline monster would utterly destroy it. “Okay- on my mark. GO!”
All three of them dashed in the direction of the mailman’s truck, hoping that Catzilla would pay no attention to them. And it worked, sort of- the large feline was so distracted by the many scurrying minifigures that it seemed like it couldn’t make a decision on who to attack first, or if it should just ignore the little people and continue its reign of building-smashing terror. Once they got to the truck, they piled in and Lord Business instructed the mailman to drive as fast as he could. He did, the truck shot past Catzilla, and the beast barely even noticed the speeding vehicle.
Miraculously, the tower was still more-or-less intact. Lord Business, the garbage-man, and the mailman all jumped out of the truck and hurried into the building’s lobby. Lord Business punched the elevator button, swearing under his breath when he realized that the elevator was not working. Whether it had been damaged in the fight with Emmet, or if the vibrations from Catzilla’s footsteps had activated the safety features was up for debate, but Lord Business really didn’t feel like debating it. All he cared about was that his job had just gotten much harder.
“Bad news. The elevator’s out,” he informed his comrades. “We’re going to have to take the stairs.” The mailman and the garbage-man looked at each other, baffled.
“Uh, what’s wrong with that?” the garbage-man asked. Lord Business grinned, but there was no joy in that rictus.
“The Relic Room is on the millionth floor.”
Both of the other men had identical horrified expressions on their little faces.
Some Time Later
“We… haah… aah… made it,” Lord Business panted, wearily punching in the access code to the Relic Room. The door slid open, and he staggered inside, his two companions trudging in behind him, their eyes darting about in search of their goal. It wasn’t hard to spot; the Ball of Cattoi was much larger than anything else in the room.
“Is that…?” the garbage-man asked reverently.
“Yes,” Lord Business replied. “Behold the Ball of Cattoi, the last hope for saving our city from Catzilla.”
“Um… don’t take this the wrong way, sir, but why do you care about saving this city?” the mailman asked. “I mean, you did try to kill us all. Not that I’m complaining that you didn’t, but why would you go to all this trouble to protect everyone here? It just seems kind of strange, you going to all this trouble to help stop Catzilla, even giving up one of your relics.”
Lord Business sighed. He should have expected that. But was it really that hard to believe that he wanted to make amends for what he’d done? “You’re not going to believe me if I told you that I felt bad about the whole Taco Tuesday thing and wanted to make up for it, are you?”
“You know, I probably wouldn’t have believed you earlier today,” the garbage-man said thoughtfully. “But after seeing you do all this to stop Catzilla, including climbing a million stairs? I think I can trust you on this.”
“I’m with that guy,” the mailman agreed. “You might still be really scary and I still sort of expect you to try to Kragle me at any moment, but the fact that you haven’t is reassuring, I guess. So I forgive you- conditionally. If you Kragle me I take it all back.”
“It’s okay,” Lord Business replied. “You don’t have to worry. I don’t have the Kragle anymore. I put the Piece of Resistance on it, then it exploded. Then I threw the exploded bits into the abyss.”
“Well, that a relief,” the mailman said.
Just then, another eardrum-shattering meow sounded, followed by even more screaming. It was more muffled, up here in the tower, but that only served to give it a very creepy detached quality. All three men looked at each other and shuddered.
“Let’s just get this over with,” the mailman said.
“We really do need more people to lift the Cattoi,” Lord Business said, worried. “If we’d taken the elevator we would have had a better chance to lift it, as well as get it up to the roof. But I don’t think we’ll be able to lift it now, much less get it up the stairs.”
“I know we’re not at the top of the tower,” the garbage-man began, “but maybe we’re up high enough that we could push it out of the big window over there and it still will go over the edge of the city?”
Lord Business looked out the window towards the horizon, doing quick calculations in his head. If they pushed the ball out of the window it would follow a trajectory to the edge of the city and fall off. Unfortunately there were several buildings in the way that would likely be destroyed. But by the same token, those buildings would surely be destroyed if they couldn’t get Catzilla out of the city.
Making his decision, he turned to the others. They might not approve, but if it came down to it, he would push the Cattoi out of the window himself. He had to stop the monster and redeem himself. He would never forgive himself if he failed in this. “If we push it out from here it should roll and fall over the edge of the city.”
“Okay, what are you not telling us? Are we going to end up knocking down more buildings?” the mailman asked. Lord Business nodded uneasily. He’d figured it out a lot faster than he’d expected.
“If it gets Catzilla out of the city, though, it will keep it from wrecking any more buildings,” the garbage-man said pragmatically. “If the Cattoi squashes some buildings but gets Catzilla out of the city, it’s still better than letting Catzilla level the whole city.”
“I don’t think we will be able to get the ball to the roof with only three of us and no elevator,” Lord Business explained. “We’ll have to push it out of the window here. I know it’s a risk, but I can’t do it myself.” The other two thought for a moment, agreed, and then helped move the Cattoi to the window. The mailman removed the window-glass, then rejoined the others behind the ball.
“On the count of three we push! One… two… THREE!!!”
With an almighty shove, the Ball of Cattoi went through the windows, sailing through the city and over the edge. Miraculously, it only took out one building in a part of Bricksburg that had already been evacuated, avoiding more casualties. Even more miraculously, Catzilla noticed it immediately and dove after it with a loud, delighted “MEOW!” effectively removing itself from the city limits.
Lord Business, the mailman, and the garbage-man all looked at each other briefly before bursting into cheers. “WE DID IT!” the mailman cried, giving a high-five to the garbage-man. The garbage-man grinned back.
“Yeah we did! President Business- you saved us! I can’t believe you saved us, but you did!”
“Well, I live here too,” Lord Business replied. “And a giant monster cat trashing the place isn’t really something I want where I live. You wouldn’t want one in your yard either, would you, uh… you know, I don’t think I ever got your name?”
“Huh?” the garbage-man asked. “Oh. It’s Sam. Sam Brickwell.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Sam,” Lord Business said. “And like I was saying, I don’t want a monster cat in my yard, and you probably don’t either.”
“No, of course not- that’s not what I think of when I think of a nice city to live in.”
“And not to mention it brings down the property values!” the mailman said. Lord Business looked expectantly at him, and it took him a few moments to realize what he meant. “Oh, my name. I’m Donovan Brickington, sir, and I already have enough trouble with normal dogs while I’m trying to deliver the mail. A giant monster cat would make it even harder.”
“Well there you have it,” Lord Business shrugged. “Cat monsters make everyone’s lives more difficult. Now, hold on for a moment.” He hurried over to a corner of the room and pulled up a brick. Yes. It was still there! “Now, since we saved Bricksburg and all, we should have a drink to celebrate!”
As he and his new friends enjoyed their celebratory drink, Lord Business reflected that it really was a lot nicer to have friends. Friends that weren’t robots, and didn’t run away from him when they became self-aware. For the first time since Taco Tuesday, Lord Business felt that maybe, just maybe, he was headed in the right direction.
“Mittens? How did you get down here? Oh… man, Dad is going to be so mad!”
/END
Fandom: The LEGO Movie (2014)
Rating: G
Pairings: None
Warnings: Some spoilers
Summary: Written for CottonCandy Bingo, prompt: Apology/Forgiveness. Lord Business wants to make amends for what he'd done, but the people of Bricksburg aren't quite as forgiving as he'd like. But when a monstrous fluffy feline threatens the city once again, Lord Business might be the only one who can save them.
Sheesh, try to destroy the world once and suddenly everyone hated your nonexistent, plastic guts. Not that Lord Business could really blame the Lego people, really- he had, after all, tried to forcibly freeze them in place using the arcane power of the Kragle. But it hurt, to see the way people regarded him with disgust and suspicion, spitting at his feet when he passed. Really, all he'd wanted was perfect order. What was so wrong with that? Honestly, they'd all been so happy when they were following the instructions. Everything in its place, perfectly. But all that had fallen apart when the Special had arisen.
Emmet Brickowski. How an entirely unremarkable construction worker managed to overthrow him and become a master Builder to boot, was a source of puzzlement for the deposed plastic dictator. But that same unremarkable, regular guy, who had every right to hate him, somehow didn't. In fact, it had been Emmet's idea to let him help with the rebuilding of Bricksburg, as a way for Lord Business to repent for all the trouble he had caused. Now if only everyone else would be as accepting and understanding as the Special and actually let him do anything.
“Do you need any-” he began, asking Eunice the Cat Lady if she needed any help fixing the steps up to her apartment. But she just glared at him, interrupting before he had a chance to finish his sentence.
“No! I don't need your help! Go away!”
Sadly, Lord Business continued on his way, trying not to feel bad about it. After all, he had tried to destroy the world, he reminded himself- but it was hard, especially when he saw the same woman accept help from someone else to rebuild her steps.
So he walked on. He managed to fit a few bricks into the wall of one of those overpriced coffee shops before the barista recognized him and chased him away, waving a hot pot of coffee around like a weapon of some kind.
Eventually, Lord Business found a damaged section of street that nobody else seemed to be working on. Repairing it took longer than he'd expected, and by the time he was finished, everyone else had already gone back to their various homes. Emmet had been nice enough to allow him to stay in his apartment. Unfortunately, the homeless Master Builders were also bunking with Emmet until they had time to build their own places. And since the city took priority, they were still in there. Emmet was always upbeat and positive, and more than willing to help him with anything he needed, but the others... weren't. At all. Lord Business didn't think he could bear to face the accusatory stares of Batman, Unikitty, and Wyldstyle. He'd go back and check in tomorrow- maybe if he had a more productive day where someone actually let him help them rebuild, he wouldn't feel so bad about facing them.
So, he resigned himself to spending the night out here. He wasn't a Master Builder by any means, but he knew enough to be able to make a shelter of sorts out of discarded bricks. Finding a pile of rubble that he strongly suspected was the remains of one of those overpriced coffee shops, Lord Business quickly built a makeshift shanty and crawled inside, drifting off into an uneasy sleep.
That uneasy sleep was shattered several hours later when Lord Business was awoken by screams and a strange shaking feeling? An earthquake? No, that was impossible, earthquakes didn't happen here. There wasn't any earth to quake.
MROWR!
That was new. Lord Business scrambled out of his shelter only to find himself in the middle of a panicked mob. The ground shook again, and he asked idly, “what's going on here?”
“IT'S CATZILLA!” a frantic woman screamed. “My grandmother always said that this day would come, that it would return from the abyss to end us all!”
“IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!” someone else shouted.
“President Business must have summoned it to finish the job! He didn't kill us all on Taco Tuesday, so he summoned one of his unholy minions to do what he couldn't!” a man screamed, completely missing the fact that he was standing right next to the man he'd just accused of trying to kill everyone.
“I most certainly did not!” Lord Business exclaimed, affronted. However, he was drowned out by another deafening roar and the ground shaking again.
And then he saw it. Looming over the skyline came the creature. Possibly a thousand times larger than anyone in Bricksburg, it looked like a horrific parody of Unikitty. Gigantic, fluffy, and gray, the thing gave another yowl and put its enormous paw down, crushing a building. People jumped from the windows seconds before the building collapsed in on them, hitting the ground and scrambling to their feet and scampering away as fast as they could. But where could they go? The creature was large enough that it could step on them without moving its massive body before they had enough time to get out of the way. The monster meowed again, this time even louder and angrier than before. Wicked-looking, sharp claws extended from the thing's paws, and it took a vicious swipe at the fleeing people. At least one person was hit, his cry of pain reverberating over the din of the panicking crowd.
“We're all gonna die!” a man moaned.
It was then that Lord Business remembered something. Back in his Relic Room, there had been an absolutely enormous sphere called the Ball of Cattoi. It had taken a team of eight robots to carry it up and it gave off a strange scent, one that gave him a headache if he was around it too much. Unlike most of his relics, he'd never been able to figure out the purpose of the Ball of Cattoi, except for possibly using it to squish one's enemies. And even then, it was really too big to be worth much. There were more efficient ways to squish enemies than hauling out that gigantic thing. But maybe... it was about the right size to be of use to Catzilla. Maybe the reason Catzilla was attacking was because it was looking for the Ball of Cattoi. But it was all the way across the city, if the tower even still stood, and the monster was in the way. There was no way he would be able to make it all the way there and back with the ball in time. At least, not on his own. He was going to need a vehicle of some kind, but he wasn't a Master Builder. He barely managed to make a hut to sleep in. If he could get some help he might be able to save the city, but would anyone be willing to help him?
The ground shook again as Catzilla moved, knocking down more buildings. It meowed angrily again, clawing at more people as they attempted to flee. That made up his mind. There had already been enough destruction recently, most of it at his hands, and Lord Business knew a way to stop Catzilla. At least, he thought he did. He hoped he did. He would just have to take the risk. Better to try and fail than to give up right out the gate and watch a calamity befall an already beleaguered city.
Jumping up on a pile of discarded bricks, Lord Business yelled, “Everyone! I know how to stop Catzilla, but I can’t do it myself! I’ll need your help. You all need to help me build a vehicle, get to my tower, and retrieve the Ball of Cattoi! If we throw it off the side of the city, the monster will follow it and leave us alone!”
“And why should we believe you?” a woman shouted bitterly. “For all we know, you were the one who summoned Catzilla in the first place!”
“Yeah!” a man added, yelling to be heard over the din of the crowd. “Maybe this is all part of your plan to get revenge on the Special for stopping your plan to destroy us all!”
Lord Business resisted the urge to bang his head against a wall. Honestly, how stupid were these people? Even if he had planned to take his revenge on the Special and the city of Bricksburg by summoning a giant monster cat, did they really think he would be idiotic enough to do it while he was still in the city himself? “Really?” he asked sarcastically. “Really? I don’t want to die any more than you do, and if I was going to attempt to destroy the universe as we know it again, I wouldn’t use something I had no way of controlling. Do you really think I can control Catzilla? Until a few minutes ago I thought it was just a story used to scare badly-behaved children! ‘Eat your broccoli or Catzilla will come and get you!’ OF COURSE I didn’t summon it.”
“He does have a point…” someone said.
“But how does he know how to stop it?” a woman asked. “I’m suspicious. No one can stop the monster, if they did they’d be the one who brought it here in the first place!”
“Since I was a boy I’ve collected relics from the outside,” Lord Business explained, trying to stay patient. “They all have different properties and uses. I admit, in the past, I used them to control people and cement my power. But the Ball of Cattoi- I never did find a use for it. It was too big and heavy. But it is the perfect size for Catzilla to play with. If we can distract it with the ball, we can save the city!”
The people all looked skeptically at each other for a bit. Could they trust the former dictator? The whole thing sounded like a trap. What if he was trying to lure them to his tower so he could feed them to the monster?
But the ground shook again, Catzilla let out another terrifying roar, then with a swoosh of its mighty tail, knocked down three buildings at once. The gathered crowd screamed and ran amok in panic, paying no more mind to Lord Business. Seconds later, the area was empty with the exception of Lord Business and two other people- a garbage-man, and a mailman.
“If we don’t do anything we’re just going to end up sitting here, waiting to be attacked,” the garbage-man said. “You might be planning a trap, but whatever it is can’t be worse than being eaten by a giant cat monster. I’ll help you, but you’d better not try anything funny!”
“I agree- better to die trying to save our homes than to die running away scared,” the mailman said.
It wasn’t the most ringing endorsement, but it was better than nothing. Two people willing to help was better than no one. “Are either of you Master Builders?” Lord Business asked. The two men shook their heads. “Typical. Okay, do either of you have anything we might be able to turn into a vehicle of some sort?”
“Uh… my truck is parked a block away,” the mailman said. Lord Business looked at the skyline, checking the opposition. Catzilla was still several blocks away, chewing on a school bus.
“Okay. We’ll go. We get in the mail truck, and then you drive as fast as you can towards the tower. Once inside we’ll go up to the Relic Room, if it’s still intact, and then I’ll need help to lift the Cattoi. We’ll get it to the top of the tower and then we’ll throw it off the side of the city. With any luck, Catzilla will chase after it. Any questions?”
“Yeah,” the garbage-man said. “What do we do if Catzilla doesn’t chase the Cattoi?” Lord Business grimaced.
“Then we’ll just have to hope it does.” Truthfully, this was the only way he could think of to stop the rampage. If this didn’t work, Catzilla would be free to stomp around the city, destroying everything it came across. Sure, the people would rebuild, but it might break their spirit, coming so soon after the Kragle incident. Life in Bricksburg had already been irrevocably changed, bowing to the whims of a destructive feline monster would utterly destroy it. “Okay- on my mark. GO!”
All three of them dashed in the direction of the mailman’s truck, hoping that Catzilla would pay no attention to them. And it worked, sort of- the large feline was so distracted by the many scurrying minifigures that it seemed like it couldn’t make a decision on who to attack first, or if it should just ignore the little people and continue its reign of building-smashing terror. Once they got to the truck, they piled in and Lord Business instructed the mailman to drive as fast as he could. He did, the truck shot past Catzilla, and the beast barely even noticed the speeding vehicle.
Miraculously, the tower was still more-or-less intact. Lord Business, the garbage-man, and the mailman all jumped out of the truck and hurried into the building’s lobby. Lord Business punched the elevator button, swearing under his breath when he realized that the elevator was not working. Whether it had been damaged in the fight with Emmet, or if the vibrations from Catzilla’s footsteps had activated the safety features was up for debate, but Lord Business really didn’t feel like debating it. All he cared about was that his job had just gotten much harder.
“Bad news. The elevator’s out,” he informed his comrades. “We’re going to have to take the stairs.” The mailman and the garbage-man looked at each other, baffled.
“Uh, what’s wrong with that?” the garbage-man asked. Lord Business grinned, but there was no joy in that rictus.
“The Relic Room is on the millionth floor.”
Both of the other men had identical horrified expressions on their little faces.
Some Time Later
“We… haah… aah… made it,” Lord Business panted, wearily punching in the access code to the Relic Room. The door slid open, and he staggered inside, his two companions trudging in behind him, their eyes darting about in search of their goal. It wasn’t hard to spot; the Ball of Cattoi was much larger than anything else in the room.
“Is that…?” the garbage-man asked reverently.
“Yes,” Lord Business replied. “Behold the Ball of Cattoi, the last hope for saving our city from Catzilla.”
“Um… don’t take this the wrong way, sir, but why do you care about saving this city?” the mailman asked. “I mean, you did try to kill us all. Not that I’m complaining that you didn’t, but why would you go to all this trouble to protect everyone here? It just seems kind of strange, you going to all this trouble to help stop Catzilla, even giving up one of your relics.”
Lord Business sighed. He should have expected that. But was it really that hard to believe that he wanted to make amends for what he’d done? “You’re not going to believe me if I told you that I felt bad about the whole Taco Tuesday thing and wanted to make up for it, are you?”
“You know, I probably wouldn’t have believed you earlier today,” the garbage-man said thoughtfully. “But after seeing you do all this to stop Catzilla, including climbing a million stairs? I think I can trust you on this.”
“I’m with that guy,” the mailman agreed. “You might still be really scary and I still sort of expect you to try to Kragle me at any moment, but the fact that you haven’t is reassuring, I guess. So I forgive you- conditionally. If you Kragle me I take it all back.”
“It’s okay,” Lord Business replied. “You don’t have to worry. I don’t have the Kragle anymore. I put the Piece of Resistance on it, then it exploded. Then I threw the exploded bits into the abyss.”
“Well, that a relief,” the mailman said.
Just then, another eardrum-shattering meow sounded, followed by even more screaming. It was more muffled, up here in the tower, but that only served to give it a very creepy detached quality. All three men looked at each other and shuddered.
“Let’s just get this over with,” the mailman said.
“We really do need more people to lift the Cattoi,” Lord Business said, worried. “If we’d taken the elevator we would have had a better chance to lift it, as well as get it up to the roof. But I don’t think we’ll be able to lift it now, much less get it up the stairs.”
“I know we’re not at the top of the tower,” the garbage-man began, “but maybe we’re up high enough that we could push it out of the big window over there and it still will go over the edge of the city?”
Lord Business looked out the window towards the horizon, doing quick calculations in his head. If they pushed the ball out of the window it would follow a trajectory to the edge of the city and fall off. Unfortunately there were several buildings in the way that would likely be destroyed. But by the same token, those buildings would surely be destroyed if they couldn’t get Catzilla out of the city.
Making his decision, he turned to the others. They might not approve, but if it came down to it, he would push the Cattoi out of the window himself. He had to stop the monster and redeem himself. He would never forgive himself if he failed in this. “If we push it out from here it should roll and fall over the edge of the city.”
“Okay, what are you not telling us? Are we going to end up knocking down more buildings?” the mailman asked. Lord Business nodded uneasily. He’d figured it out a lot faster than he’d expected.
“If it gets Catzilla out of the city, though, it will keep it from wrecking any more buildings,” the garbage-man said pragmatically. “If the Cattoi squashes some buildings but gets Catzilla out of the city, it’s still better than letting Catzilla level the whole city.”
“I don’t think we will be able to get the ball to the roof with only three of us and no elevator,” Lord Business explained. “We’ll have to push it out of the window here. I know it’s a risk, but I can’t do it myself.” The other two thought for a moment, agreed, and then helped move the Cattoi to the window. The mailman removed the window-glass, then rejoined the others behind the ball.
“On the count of three we push! One… two… THREE!!!”
With an almighty shove, the Ball of Cattoi went through the windows, sailing through the city and over the edge. Miraculously, it only took out one building in a part of Bricksburg that had already been evacuated, avoiding more casualties. Even more miraculously, Catzilla noticed it immediately and dove after it with a loud, delighted “MEOW!” effectively removing itself from the city limits.
Lord Business, the mailman, and the garbage-man all looked at each other briefly before bursting into cheers. “WE DID IT!” the mailman cried, giving a high-five to the garbage-man. The garbage-man grinned back.
“Yeah we did! President Business- you saved us! I can’t believe you saved us, but you did!”
“Well, I live here too,” Lord Business replied. “And a giant monster cat trashing the place isn’t really something I want where I live. You wouldn’t want one in your yard either, would you, uh… you know, I don’t think I ever got your name?”
“Huh?” the garbage-man asked. “Oh. It’s Sam. Sam Brickwell.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Sam,” Lord Business said. “And like I was saying, I don’t want a monster cat in my yard, and you probably don’t either.”
“No, of course not- that’s not what I think of when I think of a nice city to live in.”
“And not to mention it brings down the property values!” the mailman said. Lord Business looked expectantly at him, and it took him a few moments to realize what he meant. “Oh, my name. I’m Donovan Brickington, sir, and I already have enough trouble with normal dogs while I’m trying to deliver the mail. A giant monster cat would make it even harder.”
“Well there you have it,” Lord Business shrugged. “Cat monsters make everyone’s lives more difficult. Now, hold on for a moment.” He hurried over to a corner of the room and pulled up a brick. Yes. It was still there! “Now, since we saved Bricksburg and all, we should have a drink to celebrate!”
As he and his new friends enjoyed their celebratory drink, Lord Business reflected that it really was a lot nicer to have friends. Friends that weren’t robots, and didn’t run away from him when they became self-aware. For the first time since Taco Tuesday, Lord Business felt that maybe, just maybe, he was headed in the right direction.
“Mittens? How did you get down here? Oh… man, Dad is going to be so mad!”
/END
